Back to Apples, Acne, and Axe.

Ok, so my last post was pretty bitter.  Ironically, I was offered a job the next day. So while I maintain a mindless job during the day and make some money, I can continue trying to get my foot in the door as a writer.  What is this grand new job? I’m a secretary at a junior high. YUP a germ filled, snot dripping kid infested junior high school. The pay is pretty good and it comes with sweet benefits so it’s kind of a good deal.  While many may be fretting that my writing will grow stale due to my environment, it’s actually surprising the material I have come up with.

For one thing, I have officially stopped living my life as a college student who went to sleep at 4am and still managed to get to a noon class with naps. Now that I have to get up at 7AM, if I’m not in bed by 11PM, I’m screwed and will pay for it gravely the next day at work.  This especially sucks when my loud inconsiderate neighbors decide to start their weird cow-sex moaning at 11pm.  Tonight it actually sounded like cows were dying and I was genuinely concerned until I remembered they are ass holes.

Another interesting thing: middle school lunch rooms will always smell the same. Guess what? They’re still serving that shitty cardboard pizza and those questionable burgers.

Even more interesting: Parents.are.crazy.and.we.have.you.on.our.list. When you come in and demand that we yank out your kid from class right this second for an appointment he/she wasn’t aware of, you make our list. When you give your daughter a knife to cut her apple at lunch and then complain about how it was confiscated and insist we give it back to you right away so your husband can make dinner, you make our list. When you call us and have a question that only administrators can answer and then laugh at us for telling you that only administrators can answer that question, you make our list. When you don’t call your kid in sick and we have to call you to verify that your kid is home, and you don’t even say sorry for not calling your kid in, your make our list. When you shove a folder in our face and demand that we call little Johnny out of class right away because he needs it, you make our list.

Here’s what’s awesome: There is always food around. We get the hook up. It’s always someone’s birthday, someone’s wife is always pregnant and needs a baby shower, there’s always some sort of pizza party, there is food everywhere.

Also awesome: the ladies I work with know I’m a writer and are aware that whatever they say/do can be used against them in my writing.  They have embraced this notion and have even given me the names they want to have in my book.

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